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A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says: "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." The BE asks, "What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute.. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent". "ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE"

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "Millionaire: "
I owe everything to my wife."Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her?"Millionaire: "Billionaire"

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."